Thin

Seeing people go through their OCD is much different than reading about it.  I felt much "closer" to the women in the movie than in the stories we have read.  I guess it is easier to relate when you have a face to go with a name.  Anyway, I never thought about anorexia or bulimia in terms of OCD, but after seeing this movie I totally see how it is related.  These women obsessed about their weight and then were compulsive about keeping their weight down, each in a different way. 

The first thing that I feel was somewhat upsetting was that Polly had such a hard time eating the cupcake for her birthday.  I could eat five in one sitting and mabey I would feel bad for about a minute, but then forget about it.....I can't imagine obsessing about something like food which is necessary to live.  The one girl, I think Alisa, tried to keep her calories under 200!!  When they showed her food log, she even wrote that she had a bite of chicken and a sip of Crystal Light.  I felt sorry for Alisa in that she didn't even want recovery, although she did want a normal life for her children.  Her purging really took over her life where it seemed to mean more to her to be thin than to be a good mother to her children

It was certainly easy to pick up on why Brittany has an eating disorder.....when she talked about chewing and spitting with her mom she called them "good times".  Aside from also having an eating disorder, her mom seemed like a picky eater by the way she moved her food around and didn't want to try certain foods.  For Shelly, she says it is a control issue, she can control what goes in and out.  She is afraid of being on her own and can't control her life, but can control her food.  When she discusses sucking the food out of her stomach, I felt that she must really be depressed because that just sounds terrible.  She didn't even want the tube out!!  She said it made it easier because she didn't have to vomit. 

These women all knew what they were doing was hurting them and their families, but they couldn't help themselves, many of them had been in and out of treatment for years or were dealing with the problem for years.  One of them said that they think about it every moment of the day.  To live your life like that must be horrible!  To see your loved one suffer like that must be horrible, I can't imagine my sister or child going through it and worrying all the time if you are going to get the call that they have died.  I felt for Shelly's sister as she said she was tired of worrying.  As we are becoming more aware what OCD is and how it affects a person and their loved ones, I feel I am developing compassion for people with this diagnosis.  I am amazed at how many people suffer from this and how hard it is to recover from it, if that is even possible.  It seems as though people learn how to deal with the disorder and control it rather than it controlling them.