Davis, Chapter 1, Origins of Obsession

Davis certainly goes into great length to explain the origins of obsession as a mental disorder.  I found it interesting that some felt almost every disease could be called nervous so long ago and that is still true in a sense today.  I often hear that having a positive attitude during times of sickness can help with the diagnosis.  Before obsession came to be a "mental" term, the oldest terms, in English, were lunacy, melancholy and idiocy - these are all totally encompassing while occurring, which can also be said of OCD.

From the reading, it seems as though times really haven't changed all that much in a sense.  Davis talks about how once the quartet came to be, many more people felt they were affected, rather than the smaller amount who were affected by madness, once they heard about it.  It reminds me of the previous reading we had in which there was a discussion about how so many people come out and seek treatment once they see some sort of media coverage about a specific diagnosis they think they might have. 

 It is amazing to me how far we have come in really a relatively short time in terms of treatment.  Physicians used to think that they could use the same treatments for the body as for the mind.  We have read about people, only thirty years ago, going through brain surgery to try to "cure" OCD.  What these poor people must have gone through!!  I appreciated the line where Davis states "Obsession becomes both the symptom and the cause if the mental disease."  How hard it must be for a clinician to try to help his or her patients.  I don't have a psych background, but to try to treat something that is both a symptom and a cause must be very difficult - in a sense, it is amazing how far the field has come up to this point.

It is significant to me on a personal level that this chapter discusses the different levels of mental disease.  I was discussing our class with a friend of mine who is a social worker/therapist.  She has her own personal issues and is always worried about her kids getting or being sick, to the point where it can be a bit annoying.  I hate saying that it is annoying because she had a traumatic experience with one of her children and ever since then she has been like this.  When I was telling her about this class she said her own therapist told her she had OCD without the compulsion, we then discussed how her feeling were intrusive, inappropriate, unwanted and recurrent.  The only difference is that she does not have the compulsion that goes along with OCD.  Obsession is hard enough to deal with, nevermind having to deal with compulsion too.   In any case, I can totally understand how there are many different levels of mental disease, be it partial, fully encompassing, or any level in between.

Freud: "Notes Upon a Case of Obsessional Neurosis (Rat Man)

This reading was confusing, a bit difficult to read and also disturbing.  I'm not sure what to think in that he has some many issues - fear of his hurting his lady friend, having to consult his mother, his wish that his father will die even though he is dead, his fear of rats, obsession with mastubation, etc......I appreciated Freud's impression of this man, but even with his explanations I was still somewhat confused.  I didn't always get his dreams and didn't get the association of the mastubation with anything else, although it seemed to be linked to everything from music to books to death.  He also believes that he can see the future in his dreams, such as tests and death. 

In any case, this man has many issues - can just having so many serious issues be a form of OCD? - he seems obsessed with so many things on different levels and has different compulsions for the different issues.

Davis, Chapter 8, OCD, Now and Forever

It blows my mind that OCD was so uncommon about 30 years ago and that you could have been diagnosed as someone with neurosis or psychosis.  The authors story about his mother-in-law is so sad, not only for his mother-in-law, but for the many people who suffered from this mental disease and felt they were alone.  For something that was so uncommon in the 70's to now be included in the top ten causes of disabilities in the world is proof of how far the psycological world has come.  I hadn't thought about how many people would seek treatment bacause of media exposure, even taking those people out of the equation, there are still many more documented cases of OCD than thirty years ago and treatment has changed as well.

How is it possible that OCD is not present in Taiwan??

I found it interesting that many of the top researchers received monies from drug companies.  I worked in the medical field for quite some time and you would be surprised at how often doctors prescribe specific medications not because of pay offs (or advisor pay - call it what you want), but because the sales rep is good looking - I kidd you not!!!  Sometimes the medicine worked and sometimes it didn't, but I wouldn't be surprised if sometimes it was in the patients head that it worked ( I worked for a medical md, not a psycologist).

The section discussing "broken brain" was interesting.  To think of sexual dysfunction or bad moral judgement as really just a result of a broken brain was certainly eye-opening.  It was a short section, but it is something to think about - I mean really, if we know where sexual pleasure is located in the brain and we can fix it with medication such as Viagra, it is just as easy to say it is a result of a broken brain.  As far as OCD has come at this point, it still has a way to go - which is a positive thing......

Thin

Seeing people go through their OCD is much different than reading about it.  I felt much "closer" to the women in the movie than in the stories we have read.  I guess it is easier to relate when you have a face to go with a name.  Anyway, I never thought about anorexia or bulimia in terms of OCD, but after seeing this movie I totally see how it is related.  These women obsessed about their weight and then were compulsive about keeping their weight down, each in a different way. 

The first thing that I feel was somewhat upsetting was that Polly had such a hard time eating the cupcake for her birthday.  I could eat five in one sitting and mabey I would feel bad for about a minute, but then forget about it.....I can't imagine obsessing about something like food which is necessary to live.  The one girl, I think Alisa, tried to keep her calories under 200!!  When they showed her food log, she even wrote that she had a bite of chicken and a sip of Crystal Light.  I felt sorry for Alisa in that she didn't even want recovery, although she did want a normal life for her children.  Her purging really took over her life where it seemed to mean more to her to be thin than to be a good mother to her children

It was certainly easy to pick up on why Brittany has an eating disorder.....when she talked about chewing and spitting with her mom she called them "good times".  Aside from also having an eating disorder, her mom seemed like a picky eater by the way she moved her food around and didn't want to try certain foods.  For Shelly, she says it is a control issue, she can control what goes in and out.  She is afraid of being on her own and can't control her life, but can control her food.  When she discusses sucking the food out of her stomach, I felt that she must really be depressed because that just sounds terrible.  She didn't even want the tube out!!  She said it made it easier because she didn't have to vomit. 

These women all knew what they were doing was hurting them and their families, but they couldn't help themselves, many of them had been in and out of treatment for years or were dealing with the problem for years.  One of them said that they think about it every moment of the day.  To live your life like that must be horrible!  To see your loved one suffer like that must be horrible, I can't imagine my sister or child going through it and worrying all the time if you are going to get the call that they have died.  I felt for Shelly's sister as she said she was tired of worrying.  As we are becoming more aware what OCD is and how it affects a person and their loved ones, I feel I am developing compassion for people with this diagnosis.  I am amazed at how many people suffer from this and how hard it is to recover from it, if that is even possible.  It seems as though people learn how to deal with the disorder and control it rather than it controlling them.

Rewind, Replay, Repeat. A Memoir of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

After reading about Jeff's experience with OCD, I have realized how little I know about this disorder.  I feel that the term OCD is thrown around in society today but people really have no idea what it means or how dibilitating it can be, including myself.  I can't begin to understand how Jeff could not stop thinking about damaging the boat, even after talking to the owners who could have cared less.  Most of us would have walked away glad to not have to pay for damages and never thought about it again.  How could this scenerio take over his life.  I guess the answer stems from his childhood and always wanting to please his father. 

Poor Jeff knows that his obsession with the boat is destructive and not normal but he can't help himself.  I didn't realize that this disorder could take over someone's entire life.  I thought it was something that someone always did, like never stepping on a crack or folding papers a certian way.   I was actually surprised to read that Jeff spent literally hours in his car at the marina, spent many of his work hours thinking about the situation, stayed up all night thinking and even brought his daughter to the marina.  It is sad that he actually had his daughter stay out in the rain as a sort of disguise for him to hid his disorder.  I have obsessed about things in the past, for instance, I may have regretted saying something and for a few days, four or five times a day, I would think about what I said, but then eventually I would forget about it.  I thought I obsessed until I read Jeff's experience. 

I find OCD self-destructive, I understand it is an uncontroled situation for the person suffering from it, but what I don't understand is how it takes over their lives.  Jeff says that the marina was becoming like a prison, but he continued to go. Jeff kept this disorder to himself and on the outside seemed like a normal person while he suffered tremendously on the inside.  What a burden to bear!  How tiresome it must be to keep the obsession private and not tell your family about it.  Why did he bother going to the psychiatrist if he wasn't going to be honest with him.  Mabey he was hoping it would give him an excuse or stop the voices (doubt) that he heard.  The more he thinks about the boat the worse he feels, but he seems too scared to discuss his disorder honestly with a doctor who may be able to help him.  He truly needs help - the obsession with getting a prior girlfriend pregnant, even though they never had sex actually seemed a bit ridiculous to me.  He even admitted that it was far fetched, but he can't help himself........

Osborne, Tormention Thoughts and Secret Rituals, The Hidden Epidemic of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

I found the reading extremely interesting, I really had never thought about the difference between obsession and compulsion.  It shows how little society knows about obsession and it's negative effects when they name a perfume after it!!  I will be honest, I do throw the term OCD around to describe something, for instance, I am moving into a new apartment right now and just told a friend that my husband was going OCD sanding the walls.  He really isn't OCD, but he was going above and beyond the need to sand in order to make the walls appear smooth, I am sure he will not be thinking about the walls later on.....

What I appreciated the most from the author was that he suffered from OCD along with his patients that he discusses.  I feel that while reading about his patients was interesting, the fact that he suffered from the same problem as well eye opening.  I would never have expected someone with OCD to treat someone with the same problem, although, if I had OCD I might find comfort in talking to someone with the same problem, I would feel that they understood me. 

I have seen people with OCD on TV and heard about the disorder here and there, but to read about what these people go though is terrible.  To obsess about something that is unlikely to happen or to the point where it interferes with life must be devastating not only for the person suffereing, but also for their family.  Take Raymond for instance, his obsession with filth took a toll on his family - his wife states that he is drinving his kids crazy, but I think they might have been frighted also.  If my parent were acting compulsive as Raymond did I am sure I would have been scared as well as annoyed.  I can see in his case how badly a sufferer would want to hid his disorder. 

I would never have thought of a mental illness as physical but after reading the chapter, I have a better understanding of how this is possible.  It isn't just the way you think, something is causing you to think a certain way.  I had always thought that the obsession with hand washing was exactly that, an obsession, not a compulsion because of something one might be thinking.  That there are so many different types of physical and mental compulsions is fascinating - checking, reassurance, hoarding, repeating prayers, counting, etc. 

It is amazing that in just twenty years so much progress has been made in regard to this disorder.  Something that was thought to affect a very small percentage of people and was untreatable, is now one of the most common mental illnesses and treatable.